Discover your Purpose! Parenting Tip No.9

How do you help your teenager discover their purpose?

Whether you are a teenager or an adult this is the first question in self-help and personal development.

Without an understanding of your definite purpose in life you are like a rudderless boat drifting through life without a focus, meaning and direction- teenager or parent.

This is a particularly good exercise for teens and parents. For teenagers at an age where they are discovering themselves and discovering their own identities, likes, dislikes and starting to shape a vision of who they wish to become!

PASSION

No.1 What was your very 1st Love? Your earliest memory of joy? Can you now identify this in your teenager? Not your joy but theirs?

An exercise for every parent:

If at the lowest point in life you had nothing material left to offer your neighbour. What is the single thing you always have to share?

Recall experiences of greatest personal frustration and fulfilment in life (your earliest childhood memory of fulfilled JOY! that wasn’t motivated by the approval or praise of your parents or others). Then ask yourself what clues they offer in identifying your greatest gifts, values and passions in life.

Similarly then-when discussing a specific subject when is your teenager most animated, articulate, enthusiastic & confident. And how is this reflective in the books, music, past times and films they love.

Are they happiest outdoors, when they are active? Or are they naturally confident and alive working alone or with a team? What environments are they most authentic in? Where and when are they their true selves?

Tip:

We often loose sight of our lives passion at the junction of life when we swap the wrongly perceived characteristics of the child for the adult. This can ben particularly important to teenagers and young adults as they move into higher education.

Many children can start pursuing the unfulfilled dreams of a parent or be influenced by a well meaning teacher. Often one’s true aspirations can be squashed if a teenager feels the pressures around them from a lack of money, resources or negative influences of others- inhibiting their dreams.

As a parent you don’t want their dreams quashed before they have an opportunity to test them in the real World!

As a parent ask yourself if you can identify with any of these experiences-

Did you:

Loose your courage? If so when?

Stop taking risks? Why?

Cease being unreasonable? And start following others ideas & thinking?

Give up on your vision & stop dreaming? What was the trigger?

Unfortunately loose faith in yourself?

Loose your passion? And trade your gift for a safe day job and a wage?

If you want your child or teenager to have a fulfilled life what lessons do you have to teach from your own experiences? Many of us as parents have regrets and lessons we can share with our teenagers.

Start simply watching them, listen to their ideas, their dreams and hopes. And help them find their passion in life.

ETHICS

Secondly No.2 Highest values? Name the three ethics or values your teenager will never compromise on?

Name three occasions in their life when they were ecstatic and overjoyed when their highest values were honoured in life. An incident or occasion when their highest principles were impactful? Is your teenager, thoughtful, king, caring, compassionate? How do others describe or compliment you about them? What insights does this offer are they gifted in Leadership, Caring? An advocate for the Environment, Social Causes?

List three occasions when your values were violated or disregarded? When were you most angry, frustrated by an incident when your principles were dismissed or ignored?

Tip; This is often integral to your defining your purpose in life- something your teenager is prepared to defend, fight to protect and honour (something which will give them drive in life due to its personal meaning to them).

TALENTS

No.3 What are your Young persons Greatest skill? Name the three things they are in the early stages of being skilled and uniquely talented at?

Ask yourself what do they do with ease and others find difficult?

What is the problem or challenge they often seem to solve?

SERVICE

Finally No.4 Where do they serve others? What do they share with the World? Are they a great friend, hardworking, organised?

Consider what would pay them to create, deliver or provide in a few years time?

Is there a problem in the World you think they could solve, resolve or improve?

To learn more about the ideas of Denise and her interpretation of the power of Self-help and Personal development enjoy learning more by reading ‘The Gamekeepers’ Y.A Fantasy novel or ‘The Entrepreneur”

© 2026 Denise McKeever. All Rights Reserved

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